.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
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I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize