WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize