i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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