with your own penis?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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