i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
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I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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