i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize