I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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