K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize