I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
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your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
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