turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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