At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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