pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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