bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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