My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think i got beer on your cat.
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