Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize