He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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