I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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