i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize