Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
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it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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