I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize