i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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