Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize