just come out here and I will go home with you...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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