Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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