Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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