could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
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He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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