3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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