Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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