so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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