Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
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mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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