Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.

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(401): I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths. http://tfl.nu/qww0

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.

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(609): Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing. http://tfl.nu/en2f

Replies (26) Good night (1144) Bad night (6576) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.

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(403): I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night. http://tfl.nu/12y8

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(407): View more from Florida

She even gives head with a lisp.

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(407): She even gives head with a lisp. http://tfl.nu/76cl

Replies (17) Good night (2101) Bad night (4511) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.

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(603): He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car. http://tfl.nu/1mzx

Replies (50) Good night (7769) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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(719): View more from Colorado

She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.

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(719): She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance. http://tfl.nu/lni2

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(802): View more from Vermont

No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.

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(802): No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said. http://tfl.nu/3y67

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(216): View more from Ohio

I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.

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(216): I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/0c0z

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(626): View more from California

Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.

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(626): Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter. http://tfl.nu/7qar

Replies (7) Good night (1131) Bad night (709)
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(540): View more from Virginia

AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

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(540): AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA http://tfl.nu/16eo

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ

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(902): how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ http://tfl.nu/dj5w

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.

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(865): I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck. http://tfl.nu/zkmt

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(850): View more from Florida

She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock

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(850): She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock http://tfl.nu/s796

Replies (8) Good night (680) Bad night (1588)
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(631): View more from New York

I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.

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(631): I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping. http://tfl.nu/09a4

Replies (3) Good night (320) Bad night (583)
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(514): View more from Quebec

He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.

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(514): He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac. http://tfl.nu/t8wx

Replies (11) Good night (312) Bad night (1301) Order T-Shirt

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