My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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