I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize