I met the friendliest cop last night
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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