I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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