Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize