Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize