I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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