yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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