you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize