Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
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I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
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Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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