We won't sleep together?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
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Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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