there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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