Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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