they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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