drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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