Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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