so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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