you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize