her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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